As I lay here thinking about my past
You come to mind
Such evil thoughts plague this minds eye
As I begin to seeth with hatred
I begin to realize that you shant never lay upon those eyes of yours with the resentment of my life
To believe that I was the key to your problems,
Your strife,
To the fact that you can never get a life.
No not upon me
Never again will you look in thy eyes
Your hollow words,
Your false nobility and integrity
Your mere presence serves no purpose in my life
But as a reminder of how I shall never be.
Never neglectful of my lover,
Never forgetting that I am a father,
Never forgetting who is my father,
And unlike you I shall be better than my father.
The shame is that you have a role model of how a man is supposed to be,
Yet you chose to be the way you are,
Dishonored,
Disappointing,
And unmentionable from this day forth.
Never shall your name be passed on through these lips,
Never shall your grand children know that you exist,
Never will you ever have a chance to try and reconcile this.
You're but a distant memory that I hope to forget.
You were supposed to be my father,
You were supposed to be my mentor,
Yet instead I feel that you're nothing but a life long sabateur.
You're now dead to me,
And I can only hope your death shall set me free
I sit here alone
Deep in my darkness
I sit still trying to remain thoughtless
I try not to let this loneliness consume me
I bath alone in this black sea
So deep, so eternal it all seems to be
My deepest fear is to be forgotten or to be alone
I try not to let my fears be my home
Yet I try to be me
This is all so new for me
I am so terrified to be whatever it is that I am meant to be
I am afraid it will rob me of my humanity
Someday maybe I will set out to be
Be me; how glorious that would be
You'd be terrified of everything that I would be
Yet my charisma will always lure you to follow me
Come my army bow down before me
It's time to change the course of our destiny
Follow me into the pages of history.
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